I CAN MOONWALK!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
