I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
