Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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