I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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