Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
