My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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