Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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