I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
