She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
