The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's the barista slut.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
