shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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