He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
