Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
