question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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