Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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