Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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