Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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