Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
