Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I wear drunk well.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
