I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
