But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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