Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
