The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
