It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I didn't notice because vodka
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
