i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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