Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Alive.
So much puke
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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