My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
