he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
