I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
