it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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