As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
