I got chris browned last night
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
