You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize