I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
