You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
