11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
