Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
