and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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