and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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