She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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