My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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