I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
