hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
