Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You need a sexual gate keeper
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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