Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
