Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
