I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
