I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
