Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she smelled like a LAN party
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I believe in your delicious
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
