he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
