Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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